Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
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Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
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Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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