guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
