HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
