Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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