I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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