Your face is a jimmy john
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
