I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
