dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
