I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
