She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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