When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
