Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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