So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
