Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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