If i come over, it means nothing
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
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This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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