I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Someone shit on the floor
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
