It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
