There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize
