Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Who died my cat blue again?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
