U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
