OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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