I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
