I wannas sexs uuuuu
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
