thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
