What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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