So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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