i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
