You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
