I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
