hotel room ftw
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
do herpes really smell.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
