i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
