I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
