Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
