I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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