Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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