pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
