Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i dont even know how to be here
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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