I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
