that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
i now understand why vodka
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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