Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
