I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
