weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
