I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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