i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
