If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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