oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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