Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
