he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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