Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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