ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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