I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
