Do you still have your period?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
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