I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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