Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
