Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
soo... how was my night?
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