You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
