Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
