All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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