Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
